The End of Motherhood?

I think I may have overstated how good I am at climbing trees...

Via Everybody Knows.

better late than never...

I've been waiting, hoping, and wishing for something, some piece of news so resonant and true that it would propel me out of my non-posting stupor and get me blogging again.

Voila.

You know what they say about clouds?

Maybe I should be glad my kids text so much.

What's your Most Played?

Because I have - clearly - been doing pretty much anything other than blogging, I was playing around in my iPod library this morning when I randomly clicked on the "Most Played" column.

I was genuinely, seriously, shockingly surprised that the clear winner was....drum roll please:

Natalie Merchant's cover of Neil Young's After the Gold Rush.

I hunted around for a video of her singing it but alas, there was none. There was, however, this version of the man himself singing it:

And then I found this kinda-sorta-maybe-related little gem.  Natalie Merchant and Michael Stipe singing one of my favorite John Prine songs...


With luck, I'll be back with our regularly scheduled programming tomorrow, but in the meantime, what's your "most played?"

maternal double fault...

Last week, I watched Youngest compete in a tennis match.  As I sat among the parents from the other team, I heard a mother call out the following to her son on the court:  "Michael, no double faults!"

Seriously, short of shouting out "You suck!", could she possibly have found anything less helpful to say to her son as he stepped up to the service line? 

I remembered the little distinction I made the other day.  I mean, if she had to say something, couldn't she have settled for "watch the ball" or "keep your tossing arm straight" or, heaven forfend, "have fun."

When I am at my most compassionate, I would say that her admonition, "No double faults!" was really just maternal anxiety articulated.  But since I don't spend much time at that end of the compassion scale, I will try to simply be grateful to her for reminding me that I want my presence at my kids' activities to speak only of my support for them.

I think that's all the talking I need to do.

In that situation...

Take it from Mom....

If it weren't for the genius of our ole babysitter, I would not be blogging today much less bringing you my mother's take on mothering.  Thanks, David!

If you had it to do over again, what would you do less of?
I would be less controlling.  I would give more choice to the kids and allow them to grow through their own choices.  I would also be less judgmental.  And I would never use the word "fat."

If you had to do it over again what would you do more of?
I would like to have listened to all of you more.

Do you have any advice to give to a young mother?
Enjoy every moment of it. And take care of your body - stay fit and healthy so you have the energy and clarity of mind to enjoy it.

What do you think is one big mistake parents are making these days?
Complete absorption in their children - kids have become the only focus of the parents' attention and when they hit the real world they are not going to know how to handle not being the center of the universe.

What was your best quality as a mother?
I just loved you all so much

Is there an end to motherhood?
Yes, death.

Until then, you rejoice in your children's successes and cry at their pain.  Actually, motherhood just continues to expand, because you find yourself loving and caring for your children's children too.

***

More tomorrow.

If you have a question you would like my Mom to answer, leave it in the comments. She had nine of us so she has a lot of wisdom to share...

Resolution Tuesday will have to wait until Wednesday, again....

If any of you continue to blog successfully when your mother is visiting, would you please share your secret in the comments?

Back tomorrow, when she goes, briefly, to visit my brother.

How-much-did-I-pay-for-that-again?

For Mrs G, whose previous therapist, though mind-bendingly lousy,
was hopefully not quite as bad as these two:

Mrs. G, I feel your "And-how-much-did-I-pay-for-that-again?" pain.

Via The Matriarch. Well done!

will somebody please call off the dogs?

I feel compelled to weigh in on the Eliot Spitzer fiasco and the rain of judgment that has been drumming down onto the head of his wife, Silda Wall Spitzer, from all quarters of the media and far too many of my friends.

First up, the truly banal Wolf Blitzer gets right to the important matter at hand in an interview with really former Mayor Ed Koch: "She looked awful standing there alongside him." This prompts Ed to chime in with "she aged in a few moments before your very eyes."   Wolf is somehow stumped by the use of the word "aged" since he then feels compelled to ask, "And when you say 'aged', you saw a difference between earlier pictures of her and what we saw yesterday?"

Ed. Wolf. Puleeese.  It might be the aging process or it might be the effects of STAYING UP ALL NIGHT CONTEMPLATING THE WAY YOUR LIFE HAS FALLEN APART.

And then there is "Doctor-and-by-Doctor-I-mean-PhD-in-well-uh-um-if-you-want-to-be-picky-about-it-physiology"Laura who is probably still trying to clear her conscience for hooking up with a married man by, naturally, saying the whole sordid business was really Silda's fault.

Then we have the LA Times Wednesday morning front page story with the headline, yes the headline, that read, "Wife puts troubling face on the Spitzer scandal."  Troubling?  To whom?  I guess Silda didn't get the memo that she is supposed to be worried about our feelings WHILE HER LIFE WAS FALLING APART.

The article did contain this kernel of truth however: "This scandal has many salacious details, but it was the image of Silda Wall Spitzer at her man's side that dominated conversations across the country Tuesday."

Seriously, what is up with that?  I certainly encountered it. People would start off saying something to the effect of "Sheesh, did you hear about Eliot Spitzer" and then move right on to "and can you believe his wife was standing by his side?"  This was usually followed by some assertion as to how they, in similar circumstances, would act differently.  They'd be outraged, furious, homicidal.   They'd  take the kids and flee home to Mama.   They'd take a knife from the chef and, you know, deal with it.

There are two things that I think might be at work here.  One, in asserting their differences, my friends are kinda like the people who, when they learn that someone else has been diagnosed with cancer, come up with all the ways the afflicted person brought it on themselves.  They hen comfort themselves by reminding themselves that none of those "causes" apply to them. They are different, better, if you will.  That's why it could never happen to them.

Second, let's face it, Silda Wall Spitzer is a beautiful, smart, successful, rich woman who is married to a man who was until recently exceedingly powerful.  In short, she kinda had everything, including exactly the right clothes to wear to her husband's resignation press conference.  How much of the almost gleeful attacks on her decision to stand at her husband's side are really born out of simple envy?  Do all the pearl-and-Hermes-scarfless members of the pack just want to take down the Alpha Female?

And while I'm asking questions, why does the conversation so quickly turn to the wife to begin with?  Why doesn't it dwell on Eliot "I'm-the-smartest-guy- in-the-room-who-can't-keep-his-dick-in-his-pants" Spitzer  instead of jumping to judgments about his wife's looks (always with the looks) and the choices she makes as HER LIFE IS FALLING APART? 

Cause people, really, we are missing the point:  This is what we all should be thinking about.

give love, give love, give love...

It only came in at #13 on their top 25 duets of all time list (WHHAAT?) but it's my fave:

What's yours?