a possibly useful distinction I wish I had thought of sooner...

I'm not quite sure where it came from, but it occurred to me the other day that, when talking to my children, it might be a good idea to replace the admonition "Don't forget" with "Remember." 

Why not replace the negative with the positive whenever possible?

Or maybe I should practice what I preach and never say either.

Comments

[neurotic]

Okay, You have inspired me. I am going to try to positive for a whole day (with my kids, don't think it's possible with my husband). Will let you know what happens.

[Mrs. G.]

I'm going to try to make this change myself. It's amazing what tweaking on word can do.

[Mizmell]

Sounds like a viable plan. Little things often make the biggest difference.

[KathyR]

This is a wise little post.

Hmm. Do I say "don't forget" more often? I'm so unconscious, I'm not really sure. I think I'm more likely to say "Did you bring in the trash cans?" or "Do you have your lunch money?" It probably doesn't matter what I say, as all such utterances are viewed as nagging. Which would be where the "never say either" part would probably come in handy.

Anyway, I guess before I can focus on the worthy goal of being more positive, I should focus on just being more aware.

[Kristin]

Here's why I'm a bad person: I read that, and then I thought, "Yeah, or my f-ing family could just remember shit by themselves without me having to tell them."

I'll work on it.

[The End of Motherhood?]

Kristin, I'd say they definitely should be managing that by now...

[slouching mom]

Yes. And how about this, also? Scale down the "remembers" to the essentials.

[The End of Motherhood?]

KathyR, I think focusing on being more aware is quite possibly the single best use of anyone's time...

[robin]

I'll have to give it a try. Leaving a note taped to the fridge, microwave or any other feeding trough isn't working ....

[flutter]

sounds like too many rules to me

[SF Mom of One]

I think "remember" has a better chance of working, because it tells the kid (or me, myself) *what* to do. I should apply this to, "Don't do THAT!"

On your ongoing theme: This morning I had the idea of having X set her own timer for her morning tasks, ticked off her list.Right now, I spend the whole morning saying, "Have you...?" She has her list already, just never looks at it! She is fascinated enough with her first cell phone that this might work. Wish us luck!

[debra]

yup---like walk---instead of DON"T RUN!!!!!!!!!!